| This article includes strategies for helping students with perfectionism and suggestions for how to talk to them. Due to the reality of distance learning for so many, tips for helping students “virtually” have been included. Please find these at the end of the article. |
Many gifted students struggle with perfectionism and feel they must be “at the top” or “the best” in every area of study and performance. Depending on the student’s age and background, these feelings of insecurity can be intensified when they are first identified and placed in a class for gifted students. They might wonder how they were identified and feel they really don’t belong. Suddenly they are being challenged in new ways and among others whose abilities or performance in certain areas may exceed theirs (or at least that’s how they perceive it). They are secretly afraid of making mistakes or not measuring up. Did I get in by mistake? they wonder.
There has been extensive research on this imposter phenomenon or imposter syndrome since the first paper on the subject was published by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes. Dr. Clance, who noticed this insecurity among her graduate students (and also had experienced similar feelings), wrote the book Imposter Phenomenon: Overcoming the Fear that Haunts Your Success (affiliate link) and developed the Clance Imposter Phenomenon Scale, a “test” that helps you identify characteristics of imposter syndrome in yourself. You can take the test HERE. It may be a common phenomenon among gifted educators, too! I experienced it in high school when tests showed I qualified for entrance into a high school for gifted students. My thought was I must have just barely made it in. Later, as a beginning teacher, when I attended gifted conferences, I thought, Do I really belong here? These people are brilliant. It’s hard to admit that, but I suspect I’m not alone!
Luckily, there are strategies we can use to help ourselves and our students deal with this phenomenon. I am certainly not an expert in the social and emotional needs of gifted young people. After working with gifted students for more than thirty years, however, I can share my own experiences and observations and a few things that seemed to help my students cope with their own sensitivity to the world and their perceptions of themselves.
First, here is a 4-minute video about the imposter phenomenon you should watch if you haven’t seen it:
STRATEGIES TO HELP STUDENTS
First Day Talks
As I explained in “Back to School 2020: A Few Ideas to Surprise and Delight,” I usually did some icebreaker “meet-and-greet” activities at the beginning of the first G/T class, and then we’d jump right into engaging academic activities. I didn’t spend a lot of time talking about “what it means to be gifted” during the first class. Many students stayed in my class for multiple years, so I usually met with any new students prior to the first class to talk to them about the term “gifted” and answer any questions they had.
However, even with returning students, it was good to review what the GT class was all about. They needed some explanations about how they were identified for special services and why some academic challenges in the class would be a struggle for them. Rather than discuss giftedness as a class during the first weeks, I tried to focus on the unique qualities of students. While many could relate to the characteristics of “giftedness” described in books such as The Survival Guide for Gifted Kids (affiliate link), others – who were dealing with the insecurities of imposter syndrome – were actually intimidated by this approach. That being said, I had multiple copies of The Survival Guide for Gifted Kids in my classroom and recommended it to many students who read it on their own. And I did talk about the characteristics and address questions in whole-group discussions about any issues that came up in dialogues or that I observed. Exploring our gifts and talents was a focus in 4th grade, too.
Here are some basic things I explained to students:
K-2nd Grade G/T students:
- I’m so happy that I will get to work with you a little each week! We’ll be doing some activities that will get your brain working in new ways. Sometimes other students will ask why you come to my class. You can tell them you are doing some extra brainwork! (This was usually enough of an explanation to satisfy the younger students.)
3rd – 5th Grade:
- Everyone in the world has unique qualities- different personalities, talents, interests, motivations, etc. You are in this class because your unique qualities include talents or gifts related to the way you think and learn. So, in your educational journey, you should experience learning in a way that stretches you to reach your full potential.
- Sometimes you might want to compare yourself to others in this class. But you are “younique” and in this class for unique reasons. It’s my job to learn more about your special qualities and help you reach your full potential. Some things in this class may seem impossible or way too challenging. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Don’t worry or panic because in this class it’s not about getting the right answers. It’s about stretching our brains and challenging ourselves in new ways. In fact, sometimes there is not just one right answer. When you get stuck, I will give you hints. I hope you learn a lot about yourself in this class. You cannot fail here because I am here to support you at all times.
Throughout the Year:
Share stories of gifted and talented individuals who experienced struggles in identifying and using their gifts and talents. Gifted or Goof Off? Fact & Fiction of the Famous (affiliate link), by Nancy Polette, is full of such stories and presents famous examples from all walks of life (entertainment, sports, science, etc.). Though students will not be familiar with all of the featured men and women, they will appreciate the stories of Disney, Churchill, Dr. Suess, Tom Cruise, and others. Share any doubts or insecurities you’ve felt as well (I share my high school experience).
Get to know your students, encouraging them when they feel they have failed or begin to compare themselves to others. Remind them that their particular combinations of gifts and talents are as unique as their fingerprints and we’re working on developing them (see “The Mystery of Me: The Art of ‘Knowing Thyself'”). At the same time, explain that stretching their thinking and challenging themselves in new ways is healthy and empowering.
Use specific words and phrases that affirm qualities such as perseverance, resilience, and grit as students tackle tough problems or work hard to edit and revise work. Notice their commitment to challenging themselves. Jot down encouraging words on sticky notes and discreetly hand them to students. When I did this, I was surprised to learn that students had saved them in the backs of their learning logs. Revisiting positive feedback is a tool for combatting imposter syndrome.
Display motivational messages around the room. I love these free downloadable posters at Byrdseed.com that reinforce a “growth mindset” in the gifted classroom. My students and I created a lift-the-flap bulletin board using the stories in Gifted or Goof-Off. On the flaps were displayed the struggles experienced by each person, and viewers were invited to guess who it was before lifting the flaps.
It can be extremely freeing for students in gifted and talented programs to learn about the imposter phenomenon. Ian Byrd, co-author of Gifted Guild’s Guide to Depth and Complexity (affiliate link), describes his own struggles in “The Curious Case of Imposter Syndrome” – a very good read, especially for secondary teachers.
| STRATEGIES FOR HELPING STUDENTS VIRTUALLY * Set the tone with a letter or video greeting from you to start the year. Even if you’ve already started classes, you can clarify expectations and send messages to relieve stress anytime. Feel free to copy and paste some of the phrases shared in this post. * Send private messages to students with very specific encouraging words. * Be available to assist students who ask for help either through having “office hours” or by sharing hints and helps you’ve prerecorded. HERE is an example of one I used in an online summer class for gifted 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, designed to help students get started on a problem. *Communicate with parents directly, asking for their help in watching for signs of distress or frustration in their children. Give them specific words they can use to calm their children down such as “Remember Mrs. Lasher said she expects all students to get stuck and frustrated at times because the goal is to challenge your brain. Normally she would be able to walk right over and give you little tips and words of encouragement. What did she say you could do when you get stuck?” |
I hope some of these strategies are helpful to you! This topic is one of many related to specific emotional struggles some gifted students experience. In future posts, I hope to discuss others. Do you have anything you can add to this discussion? If so, your comments are welcome!